Psychology – 180 pages – my copy (hardback; 1968) borrowed from Plymouth University library during December 2011
- 4 nods out of 5 -
There was once a time when it was believed a good theory of psychology could solve the problems of the mind and the world. From Freud onwards, the twentieth century was awash with bespectacled, chin stroking thinkers who stated they had the brain all worked out; all that people need do was buy the book and apply the theory in practice.
Eric Berne’s Transactional Analysis is one such theory, and it can be found in this book, Games People Play. Now more than fifty years old, TA has retained followers into the new millennium; more than can be said for the voluminous books of the sixties that have promptly followed the conveyor belt to a shredder. Berne notes three basic ego states, slightly akin to Freud’s Ego, Super-Ego, and – the always fascinating – Id): the Parent (prejudices and values), the Child (impulsive and creative), and the Adult (rational and logical). The Adult is the goal for all conversationalists to reach: it is impartial and in search of the truth. But this is not to say the others are to be dismissed, but rather celebrated each in turn for their uniqueness. As Berne notes: ‘Thus all three aspects of the personality have a high survival and living value, and it is only when one or the other of them disturbs the healthy balance that analysis and reorganization are indicated. Otherwise each of them…is entitled to equal respect and has its legitimate place in a full and productive life.’
Games People Play is an analysis of the different states we each become when dealing with our family, our partners, our friends, and extended people around us. Berne contends that we all play games, with surface interactions, as well as deeper, hidden intentions. Written in what is now vastly dated language (especially when referring to male and female models), the book runs through a variety of “games” that have been discovered when treating patients in TA therapy. The book is worth it for just the names alone: ‘Frigid Woman’, ‘Yeah But…’, ‘If It Weren’t For You,’ and the Worm’s personal favourite: ‘Now I’ve Got You, You Bastard.’ As the reader immediately notices, there is no cloud of psycho-babble to confuse the patient: TA gives advice straight up and with no catches.
Here is Berne in action describing ‘A Typical Game’ between spouses:
‘His prohibitions and her complaints frequently led to quarrels, so that their sex life was seriously impaired. And because of his feelings of guilt, he frequently brought her gifts which might not otherwise have been forthcoming; certainly when he gave her more freedom, his gifts diminished in lavishness and frequency…At any rate her married life had proved one thing to her that she had always maintained: that all men were mean and tyrannical. As it turned out, this attitude was related to some daydreams of being sexually abused which had plagued her in earlier years.’
Or how about Mr and Mrs White’s implicit contract:
Mr White: “You must always be here when I get home. I’m terrified of desertion.”
Mrs White: “I will be if you help me avoid phobic situations.”
Much is written on the relationship between husband and wife. If the 1950s/1960s were years of phobia and neurosis, it is safe to assume that Berne would be in his element in the modern world. Though it does descend into the absurd:
‘There is a bit of Jerk in everyone, but the object of game analysis is to keep it at a minimum. A Jerk is someone who is overly sensitive to Parental influences…In extreme cases the Jerk merges with the Toady, the Show-off, and the Cling.’
One has the impression Berne is simply making up terms and words on the spot to get to the end of the book. But that is to do Berne and his study a disservice. Games People Play is undoubtedly an interesting book with great topics of interest; some perfect coffee-table fodder over those hot drinks in the cold months ahead.
Buy it here:
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Games-People-Play-Psychology-Relationships/dp/0141040270/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1327336400&sr=8-1
