The Land that Time Forgot

Robin Lane Fox - The Classical World – An epic history of Greece & Rome (2005)
History – 600 pages - my copy (paperback; 2006) purchased from Waterstones for £9.99 in 2008
- 3 nods out of 5 -

In spanning the classical world – a period from the fall of Troy to Hadrian’s reign of the Roman Empire – Robin Lane Fox has attempted to cram over one thousand years of history into one book. More than that, he not only concentrates on one society, but several; chiefly those of ancient Greece and the Roman Republic and Empire.

The book comments on a whole multitude: the Archaic Greek world; the Persian wars, the rivalling city states of Sparta and Athens; Alexander the Great; the rise of the Roman Republic and its eventual transformation into Empire. A weighty list indeed to contain in a book, yet Lane Fox does an admirable job of detailing all humanly possible. The Greeks and their Macedonian cousins consume half the author’s attention, whilst the Romans have the last 300 pages devoted to them. It is to the Romans in which Lane Fox comes closest to capturing the reader’s attention, notably the tumultuous time in which Caesar conquered Rome and became dictator, the effects of which changed the political landscape of the Western world forever.

In his introduction, the author speaks grandly of employing contemporary thinking – from advances in medicine, social sciences and literary studies – in an attempt to put fresh questions to the evidence before him. However, the results are not all spectacular as would be supposed. Despite listing an array of historical characters, and devoting whole chapters to some of the principal names (such as Socrates, Alexander the Great and Cicero) at no point does the reader feel as if they are being treated to the fresh insight initially promised.

Perhaps this has more to do with Lane Fox’s preference to debate on archaeological findings; his chapter on the last days of Pompeii is one of his strongest. But the more concrete reason is behind the author’s lack of strong prose and colourful characterisation. Towards the book’s end, when emperor after emperor is rattled off, it becomes weighty to reading eyes, like a large stone being dragged to a the finish point.

Six hundred pages simply doesn’t do this vast time period justice; and more cuttingly, six hundred pages simply is beyond the author’s ability. However, as an introductory guide into these times, the people and the issues, Robin Lane Fox’s book suffices as a worthy addition to the book shelf.

A Rapist in the White House

Christopher Hitchens – No One Left to Lie To (1999)
Politics – 150 pages - my copy a borrowed paperback
- 4 nods out of 5 -

Talk of your political, pen-welding assassinations: Hitchens’ portrait of the Bill Clinton administration ranks high in any list of those in modern times. No One Left to Lie To is an eye-opening critique of the supposed reformer and great pretender to the claim of leader of the free world; of the man who infamously declared to the world: ‘I did not have sexual relations with that woman.’

Combining an incisive writing style with honed journalistic instincts, Hitchens puts his all into the cause of undermining the former U.S. President. Written in the late 1990s, at the height of anti-Clinton feeling, the former leader’s character is mercilessly ripped into: he is a liar, a draft dodger, a fake and a phoney, a pretend peace loving hippy, the wolf in lamb’s clothing.

Hitchens’ attacks are unrelenting; making a greater impact on the reader is his denouncing of Clinton’s supposed avoidance of proper welfare reform, the lining of his own pockets, supposed ‘war crimes’, before the climax of asking the question: ‘Is there a rapist in the Oval office?’ This last statement refers to Clinton’s numerous sexual liaisons with females in his past: Lewinsky was not the only bed companion.

Hitchens does a comprehensive job of pointing out to the reader Clinton’s sexual aggressiveness, clearing the females themselves of the White House’s claim that they are simply in it for a piece of gold and a slice of the spotlight (one of which declared her desperation to remain unnamed due to the shame it would bring on her middle-class, respectable suburban family). Further condemning is the waste of time the whole of his sexual escapades put on Presidential time and money – the claimed ‘cock-tax’; as well as the White House’s eagerness to cover foreign failures– such as bombs dropping in the Middle East – with the adultery crisis (Clinton’s ‘weapons of mass distraction’).

Equally effective is the chapter that concentrates on the woman ‘in the shadow of the conman’, the First Lady, Hiliary Clinton. These statements are a small sample: ‘She is a tyrant and a bully when she can dare to be, and an ingratiating populist when that will serve…and has never found that any of her numerous misfortunes or embarrassments are her own fault, because the fault invariably lies with others…[and] like him, she is not just a liar but a lie; a phoney construct of shreds and patches and hysterical, self-pitying, demagogic improvisations.’ Hard-hitting stuff, indeed. Firing in the humour, Hitchens devotes two pages to Hiliary’s supposed verbal cock-ups and publicity gaffs, of which include:

‘On a visit to New Zealand, she claimed to have been named for Sir Edmund Hillary’s ascent of Everest; a triumph that occurred some years after her birth and christening. I insert this true story partly for comic relief, as showing an especially fantastic sense of self-reinvention as well as a desperate, musterous willingness to pander for the Kiwi vote.’

Yet it is not all so light hearted. For the main part, Hitchens concentrates on how Hiliary made a name of using underhand tactics of urging investigative journalists to dig up dirt on fellow politicians and of Clinton’s former love partners.

Ultimately, this short read comprises one of the most effective pieces of political and character assassinations of recent times. Throughout all, Hitchens has assumed the mantle of truth-bearer for the masses, un-tiring and un-ending in his tirades and welding of the pen (or is it, rather, the axe?). At the book’s end, the Worm was left with the impression that William Clinton was not one of the trumpeted chief reformers of recent times, instead believing in the statement that he is rather ‘a scoundrel and a perjurer and disgrace to the office he has held.’ No One Left to Lie To is an explosive read for anyone interested in American politics.

Into the Melting Pot

Martin Amis – The Moronic Inferno (and other visits to America) (1986)
Essay collection – 210 pages – my copy (1987; paperback) bought for £2.99 from the fantastic Oxfam bookshop in Chiswick, London, in early 2009.
- 3 nods out of 5 -

When asked to pen a travelogue of the U.S. of A., Martin Amis initially bulked at the challenge: ‘America is more like a world than a country’. Yet after reflection, he realised he had already, in effect, written such a book; it being amassed from his collection of essays on American life, printed during the late 1970s and 1980s in such prestigious titles as The Observer, the New Statesman and Vanity Fair. A little editing and pruning and viola: The Moronic Inferno is available on all good book shelves.

However, do not be alarmed at the seemingly opportunist nature of the book (after all, a collection of typed up essays doesn’t sound like a classic in the making, perhaps more akin to a quick profit for both publisher and author); The Moronic Inferno has enough within the pages to make the reader gasp in wonder at the land of America.

The essays are primarily centred on public figures of American life in this period, charting Elvis Presley, Hugh Hefner, and Steven Spielberg; whilst in conversation with some of the great heavyweights of twentieth century literature such as Truman Capote, Joseph Heller and Kurt Vonnegut. American life is studied, from the deeds of multi-talented and multi-complex Gore Vidal, to Ronald Reagan, to the New Evangelical Right to the psychotic killings that took place in Atlanta (one of the book's strongest essays).

Of course, due to the nature of the book there is no coherent narrative; however, it can be satisfactorily taken up in any place and read with amusement. The reader is given a great snapshot of the time of 1980s Reaganite America: before the fall of Communism, before the new millennium, before 9/11, before the pain of Bush and before the optimism of Obama. Perhaps much of Amis’ insightful comments can be placed in his being primarily an outsider (though with an American wife and in American residence); but the chief reason why the book is such a joy is because of the author’s intelligent, witty writing style. Though chiefly an author of fiction, Amis has mastered the form of the essay. The reason why the Worm can go no further than 3 nods is due to the book’s ultimate flaw: it’s stunted conception as a band of previously penned words. The Worm calls on Amis to take to the road – Jack Kerouac style – and write a true travel book on this fascinating ‘world’.

A Summit of Lacklustre Proportions

David J Bercuson & Holger H Herwig - One Christmas in Washington (2005)
History – 280 pages – my copy (2006; paperback) bought from the Works in Plymouth for £2.99
- 2 nods out of 5 -

History books on the Second World War will never go out of fashion. It seems that popping off a few hundred words on the Nazi menace or Allied fight-back is a certain way to bolster the CV, get your name on the shelves of shops, and maybe even line the pockets. Due to the ample amount of events to cover in the years from 1939 to 1945, the reader rarely fails to be mesmerised and informed. However, Bercuson and Herwig, authors of this book, do not succeed wholly on either front.

One Christmas in Washington primarily concerns the events from November 1941 to January 1942, a time in which the USA was dragged into the war after the cowardly bombing of Pearl Harbour. On hearing the news – at which Churchill expressed a somewhat perverted delight – the British PM hightailed it to Washington to meet with the President to forge an alliance to deal with the Japanese and Hitler and his henchmen.

Such a synopsis offers some mouth-watering prospects of insight and conflict. Yet rarely does the book come to life, which is perplexing when one considers the two staring figures, Winston Churchill and Franklin D Roosevelt: the British Bulldog and the only President to have won four elections. Both are gigantic figures in 20th century political history and both have had many inspiring and worthy biographies written upon them. But neither Bercuson and Herwig are of the right metal to chart this summit of epic proportions.

Throughout all the book’s 280 pages the writing style is flat and lacklustre. There are many other characters detailed, including the leaders, yet the reader is given standard short biographies of them, as one would find on any Wikipedia page. The range of sources appear stunted – primarily of a secondary nature – and this is one of the book’s chief failings. Nowhere is new ground trotted upon: no new analysis, no new insight.

It is left then to the anecdotes of Churchill to enliven the pages, of which include his conversations with White House staff (‘No member of the White House staff had ever seen the likes of Winston Churchill. Nor would any of them ever forget him’ (p.129)), his smoking and drinking and general winding up of the top brass in the American government. The most notable one details Roosevelt rushing into Churchill’s room with important news, only to find the rotund PM naked after enjoying a bath. Roosevelt made way to promptly exit before Churchill told him: ‘Think nothing of it. The Prime Minister of Great Britain has nothing to conceal from the President of the United States’ (p.217). Despite Churchill later insisting the story was ‘nonsense’, it has stuck to his fame for decades since.

The Christmas conferences were ultimately vital in establishing the alliance that would eventually win the war – the world’s greatest and most vital – in 1945. It is a great pity that the authors were unable to capture this importance, missing a real slice of history. As such, One Christmas in Washington remains a standard read, only a book on the wish-list of Second World War buffs, and to Churchill’s fans in particular.

Ich Bin Ein Berliner

William Shirer - Berlin Diary (1941)
Historical Diary – 600 pages

my copy an 1987 edition hardback borrowed from Pete
- 5 nods out of 5 -

Hitler and Nazism have had countless books penned in interest over the past seventy years. They continue to engulf the public imagination, with many notable academic figures commenting on them down the years. Yet it is one of the earliest accounts of Nazism that continues to be a shining star, a heavyweight amongst a mass of mediocrity – William Shirer was one of the first, and he’ll certainly be in contention as one of the last words of this tumultuous time.

It is Shirer’s subsequent, more comprehensive history on Nazism – The Rise & Fall of Nazi Germany - that is the better known; however, Berlin Diary combines both the comprehensive analysis of the later work, whilst adding adrenaline like quality that propel the book to position of a page-turner thriller.

Beginning in January 1934, it details seven years in Shirer’s life as a foreign correspondent, initially for the newspapers and later more successfully in the budding radio medium. He is there when Hitler takes full power; when he rearms; when he takes Austria, then Czechoslovakia; when war is declared from the allies, and there when the bombs fall on Berlin all around him. The reader is placed in the heart of the action; something other histories lack due to the gap between the events that actually happened to the time when they are described. He is commenting whilst the world stands on that fine wedge between war and peace. And yet for a man who has not the benefit of hindsight, Shirer does a remarkable job at his perceptive analysis on just what the Nazis are plotting and Europe’s dark fate.

Just why are the pages dazzling aware and insightful? Perhaps it is due to his position as an outsider, his nationally being American. Whilst liberalism died in Europe and fascism reigned, the reader is given an impression of Shirer as Orwell’s Winston Smith, The Last Man in Europe (furthermore, there are countless similarities with Orwell’s Nineteen Eighteen-Four – the rationing, the propaganda… the Worm is convinced that Orwell must have owned a copy of the Diary).

There are a couple of interesting points on Shirer’s old fashioned stereotypical view of the German believing he is right, that the rest of the world is wrong. As the days pass he becomes all the more anti-German, telling of the German “blank stare” they give him when he brings up the reasons behind their decision to go to war. But, as always, Shirer raises the questions as to the Nazi pulling the wool over their eyes: ‘What happens to the inner fabric of a people when they are fed lies…daily?’ (p.331). It is a question historians have been asking ever since.

A diary entry dated 23 February 1940 has Shirer lamenting: ‘My birthday. Thought of being 36 now and nothing accomplished, and how fast the middle years fly’ (p.260). Nothing accomplished? No, Mr Shirer, you were very much mistaken. This book is an essential must for anyone interested specifically in the Second World War, and more generally on the traits of the human character.

Hey, what's the Big Idea?

Paul Strathern, Oppenheimer & The Bomb (1998)
Science biography – 90 pages - 2 nods -

Paul Strathern, Einstein & Relativity (1997)
Science biography – 90 pages - 2 nods -

Paul Strathern, Hawking & Black Holes (1997)
Science biography – 90 pages - 2 nods

(all taken out from Plymouth Uni library, courtesy of Jay)

The Big Idea series is Paul Strathern’s attempt at detailing the lives of the past’s most eminent scientists, all within an accessible number of pages (always under one hundred). The Worm has entered this series with gusto, looking at the lives of Robert Oppenheimer, Albert Einstein and Stephen Hawking. Let the scientific pondering begin.

First to Oppenheimer. The detonation of the world’s very first atomic bomb provoked these words from its chief creator: ‘I am become Death, The Destroyer of worlds’. The words are a translation from the Sanskrit text Bhagavad-Gita; the tongue belonged to the scientist in question.

Hailed as “the father of the bomb”, Oppenheimer was involved in the atomic tests in the New Arizona desert in the early 1940s amidst the greater world conflict that engulfed the United States at the time. Called ‘Oppie’ by his friends, the reader is taken on a brief tour of his life: young academic, schizophrenic and suicidal, to the man who moulded great minds. He details some of his political ideology: his move to the left (loves of his life, as well as his brother, were communist) and his eventual falling out with the authorities. An out-right genius himself (learning languages as people eat hot dinners), his task during the Second World War was to gather a collection of other geniuses to get ahead in the arms race against the Germans. Of course, the rest is history: the Nazis surrendered and two atomic bombs were dropped on Japan.

And onto our second genius, one of Oppie’s contemporaries and perhaps the biggest brain of them all: Albert Einstein. The reader is treated to the usual stand-out points of Einstein’s life, the most notable feature being the relative late blossoming (being in his mid-twenties when first expounding some of the greatest theories of the twentieth century). Likened to Newton, Strathern rightly notes:

‘But Newton didn’t have to go to work every day, and didn’t live in a small apartment with a wife and baby. Einstein’s intellectual feat appears to be unparalleled in the history of the human mind.’ (p.47).

Einstein was not seen as a genius straight away by the seniors, but recognised by the more dynamic younger generation. When passed over for the post of professor at the University of Zurich, Adler – who was appointed – resigned, commenting: ‘If it is possible to obtain a man like Einstein for the university, it is absurd to appoint me.’ (p.64). Indeed, how was it possible to neglect a man on whom at moments in his life had access to ‘God’s thoughts’ (p.50)?

The life of Stephen Hawking completes this trilogy of twentieth century geniuses: perhaps a life more compelling than the previous two. Here was a young man of upcoming talent, alive in the swinging 60s, who was diagnosed with the condition of amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (AML) – better known as motor neurone disease. It caused him to walk around with the use of stick in his early twenties; led him to needing a wheelchair, for his speech to become slurred, and to fail in the use of his hands. Whilst in the mid-1980s, a complication in breathing led to the vital decision taken by his wife for an emergency operation, the result of which lost the use of his voice, leading to the now famous computer-machine talker, wildly imitated around the world.

Yet this brain survived such adversity to triumph (and of the three mentioned, Hawking has the extra kudos of appearing in an episode of The Simpsons). Tight spots and tricky situations is a familiar theme with all three scientific amigos: Oppenheimer was hounded towards the end of his life for supposed Communist sympathies (the 1950s being the era of the McCarthyism witch-trials), whilst Einstein was unable to complete his Unified Field Theory – equating the micro and macro worlds (on the bedside at his death in 1955 lay a page of unfinished calculations). Such was the energy exerted on this never reached or broached theory, many commentators believe Einstein – one of the greatest of human minds – wasted much of his later life on a fruitless task.

Throughout each of the reads, multi-tasking author Paul Strathern (lecturer of philosophy and mathematics as well as writer of novels) has taken it upon himself to digest and expound lives of these men and their (sometimes) baffling theories into a book of fewer than 100 pages. This itself is quite an impressive feat; however, much of the pages are a pedestrian read. At no point did the text jump out and grab the Worm by the lapels; the only exception being the anecdotes, many of which have been recited time and again.

Strathern feels less comfortable when relating the theory of the bomb, when speaking of the theory of relativity, and even of black holes and string theory. Yet the books ultimate stunted nature lies deeper than this: it is the lack of connection between author and subject. This is something seen with greater clarity when reading the pages of Hawking’s life; a more enjoyable read, due primarily – I believe – to Strathern’s actual meeting Hawking (something obviously impossible to have achieved with either Oppenheimer or Einstein). Take this ending passage on Hawking, for example, detailing a group of students discussing equations:

‘The central figure of this group sits in a wheelchair wearing a bib. His cup is held by a nurse, who rests one hand on his forehead, lowering his head so that he can drink. His spectacles slip forward down his nose, and his slack lips slurp at the tea, as the young voices debate earnestly around him….. One of the group passes a typical bad-taste student comment, and the figure in the wheelchair beams his famous broad grin. He is in his element: the centre of his own mathematical universe, already the stuff of legend’ (p.84-85).

Bill Bryson’s A Short History of Nearly Everything has led to a rash of comedic-science-history books. Strathern’s attempts pre-date this spate, yet fails in enlightening and entertaining the reader to heights of delirium (as achieved by Bryson). Such great figures deserve words of greater quality. But as a self-professed introduction, Strathern’s Big Idea series suffices and earns their place on any curious reader’s bookshelf.

Satirical Born Killers?

Ben Elton, Popcorn
Novel – 300 pages – 1996 / hardback borrowed from Em
- 1 nod out of 5 -

Popcorn is the story of how a psychopathic murdering couple take hostage an Oscar winning Hollywood director who has made his fame and fortune detailing psychotic, murdering people taking people hostage. Under pressure from the authorities and in the hope of saving their own hides, the murdering couple – Wayne and Scout - hope to get the director - Bruce Delamtri – to take the wrap for the murders due to the influence of his movies on society.

Sounds like a passable storyline. However, throughout all is Elton’s continuing efforts to frustrate the reader. There are many pitfalls within these pages: from wooden, pointless characters (with the depth of a playing card) to the carbon-copy likeness to Tarantino dialogue and films of the same period. Yet it is Elton’s writing style itself which is the biggest culprit: the grammar may be good, but the quality is far from satisfactory. Elton has the annoying knack of turning away from the story to lecture the reader, an example of which:

‘Contrary to popular mythology, American police officers do not spend all day every day scraping corpses off walls and floors… Death is not uncommon in this job but it is not the norm either, and the two State Troopers weren’t so familiar with murder as to be indifferent to it’ (p.64).

Blah, blah; bore, bore. I found myself repeatedly throwing insults at the book’s pages and to Mr Elton’s smug photograph in particular. Firstly, it adds unnecessary words to an already bloated story; it is almost criminal that no sharp edit of the book was performed. And secondly, comes the vision the reader builds of the bespectacled Elton typing away the words, pompous grin on face, pausing every couple of minutes to sip at his own self-satisfying coffee. It may be the Worm’s own personal preference, but an author of fiction should take a back-seat and allow his words to do the talking for him.

Popcorn is hailed as a work of satire. Yet this is not satire in its known and enjoyed forms. Throughout the novel Elton seems to have the wit of a fourteen year old boy – devoid of a terse and mordant style - infected and enthused by a trip to a cinema, or illicit copy of a mid-1990s Tarantino film. Think Reservoir Dogs, think Pulp Fiction, and primarily, Natural Born Killers, of which, Tarantino wrote the original screenplay. And this, in essence, is what Popcorn is: a rehash of violence and supposed sharp dialogue. The much trumpeted so-called satire comes from its describing of the baseness of a Hollywood up its own arse, a Hollywood which takes no account of blame. Rarely does Elton succinctly get this message across, yet two notable exceptions include the book’s epilogue (in which the survivors of the final shooting rampage take to suing one another), and Bruce Delamtri’s comment on society:

‘Nothing is anybody’s fault. We don’t do wrong, we have problems. We’re victims, alcoholics, sexaholics. Do you know you can be a shopaholic? That’s right. People aren’t greedy any more, oh no. They’re shopoholics, victims of commercialism. Victims! People don’t fail any more. They experience negative success. We are building a culture of gutless, spineless, self-righteous, whining cry-babies who have an excuse for everything and take responsibility for nothing…’ (P.83)

Yet it is a shame that these highlights remain buried amongst an avalanche of dull words and clichéd statements. Yet what is most shocking is an endorsement on the book’s back cover by Douglas Adams: ‘One of the most brilliantly sustained and focussed pieces of satire I’ve ever read.’ It is even compared with Joseph Heller's Catch 22. The only logical explanation must be that Douglas Adams was in mocking jest when typing such a statement (or was trying to give a fellow novelist friend a helping hand). Now, Catch 22 was an piece of satire; a true 5 nodder!. Popcorn - a tiring read of 300 pages - is not.

What it is remains a motley assortment of dull plot and forgettable characters. Therefore, it is the Worm’s duty – according to the code of Bookish Honour – to place a prominent warning sign upon this novel and classify it with the miserly 1 nod it surely deserves.